It’s Tuesday morning, the birds are singing, and it’s finally rain free. After a fun-filled 4th of July, I’m ready for a break. Have no fear people, just like life, my mind never stops! It’s about 7am, so for today, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a Drink with Jess!
If you haven’t listened to my mixcloud segment “I Know What You Want” this week, you may want to check it out (lesberealradio.com). You see, I spoke about the difference between being aggressive and assertive. It’s amazing to me that many people don’t know the difference. However, rather than talk about these opposing characteristics, I like to emphasize the positive because that has a greater effect on your dating life.
I will premise by saying that being aggressive is NOT attractive. I repeat. Being aggressive is NOT attractive. However, assertiveness is. So as I enjoy another cup of Joe, here are a few things that will explain how to be assertive in the dating scene.
1. Believe in yourself in every aspect of your life. Assertive people can bet on themselves 100%. They are self-assured and have a positive view of themselves and life. They stand firm in who they are and what they want in dating. How does this work in the dating scene? Well, take a look at number 2.
2. Be bold. Because they are so in tune with themselves, this means they are completely confident in taking risks. This is such a bad ass quality. Assertive people will approach someone but not try to seek their approval. The assertive person will be the one deciding whether the approached meets theirs. For example, if I start a conversation with a woman and I notice she makes fun of others in a judgmental way, that’s where the interaction ends in my eyes. I took the risk, but still stay true to who I am as a person.
3. Reject or get rejected with grace. Whichever one of these is occurring, the assertive person walks away with grace. There are no nasty comments, name calling, or even hounding to try to change or control the rejection. They won’t chase. They are certain about 2 things in this situation. They aren’t going to continue on with someone who doesn’t fit what they want, AND, they aren’t going to put their interest into someone who isn’t interested in them. When you look at these 2 beliefs, there is no reason not to handle either end of rejection without grace.
Again dear readers, this starts with you. Take the positive avenue. Leave behind the aggression and start being an assertive person. Whether it’s in dating, in family life or in business, your confidence will shine through, and experience more positive outcomes. If you want detailed information on this along with much more, grab a copy of “Seeking Her, Knowing You” available on Amazon.com and Kindle, and make sure you join me next time for more Drinks with Jess.
Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia. She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.