Hello my dear readers! I feel as if I haven’t written an actual blog in a long time, so I am thrilled to talk about this mystifying topic with you. Now, I have encountered many things over the years, however, this truly is monumental! So grab yourself some Tennessee Whiskey, and join me for a Drink with Jess!
I love food, and yes, Memphis comes to mind. Seeing that I’m in Philly, I’ve always wanted to make that a road trip. But low and behold, I don’t have to… I can just hit the internet highway. So why do we not have to meet people in person? Because we can just meet them online. One phenomena that occurs more than often via this easy access lane is what we call “catfishing.” It’s been covered on Dr. Phil and other talk shows, it’s been talked about on radio, and yes, I have now seen this in action.
Before I get to a few keys on how to help you avoid these predators, I’m going to give you a short recap of what I witnessed. Now, this doesn’t mean that they are from some other country. After communicating, asking for mad amounts of money is a red flag we have commonly seen. Some, however, just like to play with people’s hearts. But remember, you are in control of you.
Long story short. I have lots of people on my Facebook and I do try to actually connect with people in my area. I’m not the person who believes that FB friends are actually friends unless you actually hang out. I noticed a woman in my area that liked some posts and pictures, so I sent her a message. She and I began messaging back once in a while and I figured I’d ask her to lunch. She appeared to be unbelievably hot in her pictures… here’s a clue… unbelievably. With that being said, we never did make it out which didn’t bother me because this was only a friend connection for me. I’m not a fan of overly materialistic or only selfie-taking primped girls.
Anyway, I received a message from another woman saying “she’s a catfish!” I knew something was off from the very beginning, which is another reason I wasn’t putting effort into this. Remember the crazy-hot scale. If you don’t know what that is, google it! Apparently, this particular woman said that the “hot girl” was saying that she loved her, making her think this was real, and even sending her messages quoting me, yet they weren’t the words I spoke. She called her out all over FB, and now the woman seemed to disappear, hopefully not to float back up to the surface. I feel for the woman who got caught up in this web. But let’s take a look at the signs because I will say that if you fall for these people, it is on you. So let’s stop that!
Look, I know everyone wants to find love. I know that sometimes people are so happy that someone is paying attention to them that they can fall for just about anything. But please, have the strength to pay attention to the clues above. Build your confidence so that you can have standards and expectations instead of falling for the next pretty face that says hello. Don’t believe the lofty expressions of feelings and grandiose promises. Promises are easily broken. But the one promise that isn’t, is that you can always grab a glass and join me for Drinks with Jess!
For more on "catfishing," check out my latest LesBe Real Radio Talk segment "I Know What You Want" by clicking here!
Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia. She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.