Well people, I’m finally caught up on my sleep after spending the weekend celebrating New Hope Pride! What a weekend it was! With so many different events, this led not only to meeting a ton of new people, but gave me plenty of time to observe. So in the spirit of people watching, grab a margarita in a bucket, (apparently that was my favorite for the weekend) and enjoy a Drink with Jess!
As I alluded to, I love people watching. In fact, body language is one of my all time favorite topics! There is nothing better than watching how people act and react in and out of their natural habitat. Seriously, the discovery channel should make a show of this, displaying humans as wild animals! To continue, after observing body language at its best and worst, I decided to use that for today’s Tipsy Tuesday video. However, one element that I haven’t discussed is your voice.
Didn’t you hate listening to your voice as a kid? Remember those God awful tape recorders and answering machines? I bet you still probably hate leaving messages for people. Well I’m here to tell you to get over it, because voice tonality is an important part of communication, and yes… attraction.
So I’m going to give you the break down, fast and easy. We are animals. And in the world of animals, what you feel takes precedence. They are in-tune with the present moment, vibrations, their environment, and other animals. Women, like animals, base their decisions on how they feel at any given moment. In this capacity, it’s necessary to understand that non-verbal communication is 98% of our communication. Body language (including facial gestures) accounts for 55%, voice intonation is a stable 38%, which leaves the words we say at a measly 7%. I think it’s hysterical when people are afraid to speak to someone or are worried that they won’t know what to say, because it really doesn’t matter! Hell, I observed some of the most ridiculous drunk conversations where you couldn’t make out half the words, and God knows at that point many couldn’t control their bodies, but voices could be heard and felt!
Since I spent many years studying and obtaining my degrees in language and linguistics, today, I want to utilize my education. The big key here is intonation (please don’t use inflection, it’s not the same)! Ok, so voice intonation is simply a variation of pitch, and other prosodic elements, that don’t distinguish words, but indicate emotions and attitudes. Think about it, when people speak, it’s simply vibrations that we as listeners feel. You can hear, or better yet feel, if the person speaking is depressed, happy, excited or horny.
Understanding how to speak, mixed with great body language reaps amazing results when wanting to attract someone. Put passion and energy in your voice, practice different volumes that you feel convey certain feelings. For example, when I am out people feel my confidence, my directness, my positive energy and my excitement through my voice. Whether I’m telling a story, having a basic conversation, or simply just saying hello, my intonation is dynamic and robust, yet playful and kind. Think about the best speaker that you’ve seen, the topic or words you may not care about, but if they speak well and utilize good intonation you’ll sit up and listen!
Great voice intonation is much more natural when you’re talking about something that you’re passionate about! Remember, words don’t matter because she’ll feel your passion through your mouth (in more ways than one)! So start practicing in the mirror! Practice talking to yourself or record it as if you’re rehearsing for a speech on your favorite topic. Pay attention to your voice. Notice how you speak around friends and family. But by all means, sure you keep wetting your whistle having a Drink with Jess!
Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia. She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.