So after a great weekend with my crew in Rehoboth Beach tearing up the joint, I had a brief moment when I thought of how much I needed to recover. It wasn’t so much the lack of sleep or overconsumption of alcohol and bar food, but it was also the first time this season I was at the beach, which tends to make me go into overdrive. So, during all of Women’s Fest, I observed several interesting things and witnessed many events, but one of the most intriguing was the speed dating event at one of the bars. So get your flip-flops on, sit in the sand with an umbrella decorated drink, and enjoy Drinks with Jess.
I have never participated in a speed dating event, and this event was no exception. However, I knew one of the women running it and 3 of my friends were participating, so I figured I’d watch for a bit. It was such a strange phenomena. If you haven’t witnessed it, go one day. Some people are sitting at tables and remain stationary while others rotate. You have a 1-3 minute conversation with someone you don’t know, hoping to make a connection. The whistle blows, then you move on. It’s kind of a quicker form of a singles mixer, or in online experiences, it’s the tinder of online dating.
I’m witnessing this event, and some people dropped out during the preceding, so the announcer called me out and asked me to fill in. I use my conversation skills well in these situations, but since I wasn’t there to find a date, I ended up answering the question: how do you make a connection in such a short amount of time?
Remember what I’ve said in the past, women feel your energy in seconds. In addition to body language, voice inflexion and of course, your confident, positive vibe, here are my favorite three tips for the first-timer or the veteran engaging in these speed dating events.
1. Please don’t use “What’s your name?” or introduce yourself.
Seriously, you’ll already have name tags on. Your best bet is to look at the tag as she comes to the table, greet her by her name, or just start a conversation adding her name into it as you speak.
2. Stay away from the basic question and answer sequence.
Think about it. You have 3 minutes to live or die, do you go hard or do you go home? I’m not saying use a totally ridiculous or hypothetical question, but just start talking as if you already know them and let the questions or statements flow naturally about what’s going on around you.
3. Definitely go for the number or set up a date during those 3 minutes.
Yes, this is possible! I know some events have rules against it, but who doesn’t love a “rule breaker?” Besides, it’s better than the boring “it was great meeting you” line. During the convo, if you are enjoying her and want to know more, just go for it! And if you’ve read any of my previous posts, then you know that this alone, in 3 minutes, will demonstrate some sexy qualities!
So there you have it, folks! These tips, along with previous ones, will give you a great advantage in a rushed environment. In fact, you can use these tips at a mixer, club or restaurant. Hell, you can use this anytime, anywhere. Now grab that fruity drink, relax and give it a try! Join me next week for another Drink with Jess.
Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia. She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.