Well hello everyone and happy New Year! I hope everyone had an exciting and healthy start and are ready to take 2016 by storm! I’m committed to jump right in! So grab one last glass of champagne and join me for a brand new post, toast and Drink with Jess.
That’s right, I’m committed to jump right in! After a relaxing and uneventful vacation, I did happen to take time for self-reflection in regards to commitment. In fact, I had a wonderful conversation with a client afterwards about this very topic. So on to the findings!
A few days before my vacation, I saw a picture of a pup that was available for adoption. For years after Bowman’s passing, I kept saying “I want a new one,” but came up with many excuses of why it wasn’t the right time. Last year, I came close, but decided against it yet again. However, this new one is Bowmanesque. The best part is that his name is Nacho! Adorable right?
Anyway, that night I sent a Facebook message to inquire about him. This started the ball rolling. During the week, I began to second guess myself. Not that I wasn’t loving or capable enough, but began to think about where my life is, my freedom, my schedule and every other thing I could think of. A few days before New Year’s I realized that it was the commitment that was scaring me, just like some people have (including me at times) when it comes to relationships.
With this analysis, I made a decision (not a resolution) that 2016 was the year of commitment for me. Whether it’s a dog, career, health or relationship, I’ve discovered something very important. Even though many people fear change, if you look at it as evolving (which is our purpose as we go through life) you can say decisively say “yes”.
Now when it comes to relationships, I find it funny that we have no problem wanting to commit to the wrong people with ease. But God forbid the right person comes along, many will shrink away from even giving them a chance. And we wonder why we keep dating the same type of people. Instead of evolving, we are repeating history.
In hindsight, we know that the person we usually pick won’t become a life-long commitment (even though we may wish it does). It’s safe, and it does allow us to learn more about ourselves and to grow from the experience. But for 2016, I want you all to make the decision to commit to evolving. Commit to stepping outside of the box with your dating life. Commit to giving the right person a chance and allowing them in to your world. If you don’t know how to decide who the right person for you is, check out Seeking Her, Knowing You on Amazon.com, it will get you started. Above all, commit to joining me again for Drinks with Jess (and a Nacho plate)!
Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia. She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.