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Laughter Is the Best Medicine

2/11/2016

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Hello, readers!  It’s that time again, and just when we think we’ve made it through winter with ease, now comes the cold.  What better way to survive the chill that to cozy up, share some laughter, and enjoy a Drink with Jess!

Yes, I said laughter.  One thing I’ve learned from my parents is that laughing a lot is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship.  You can chuckle with each other, poke fun at each other and belt out that much needed belly laugh.

Many people become downtrodden or have a negative attitude towards dating and relationships.  Others feel nervous when going out with that new special someone.  But with Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I want you to perk up and feel the rush that laughing gives you.

It’s said that this one action is just as important as exercise.  It relaxes your muscles, releases those oh-so-feel good endorphins, and is contagious to those that you’re around.  So why not get yourself in the right frame of mind for your next date? Stop trying to be cool.  Stop trying to impress someone.  The best dates are the ones that are filled with laughter.

Think about it this way, if you’re depressed, if you’re just in a blah type of mood, even your friends don’t want to be around you.  The same goes for your potential partner.  To be honest, I want to enjoy life and if I look into the future and don’t see myself laughing with my partner, then that’s not the relationship that I want.

So, how do you build that humorous foundation?  Initiate it from date number one!  You don’t have to be a comedian or tell corny jokes that no one laughs at.  Just follow a few simple tips to get you started.

Not in the mood to go out?  Feeling a bit anxious?  Watch a funny show or movie as you’re getting ready.  Listen to a podcast that makes you chuckle.  Hell, sometimes I call my mother to hear her make fun of my father (he’s always getting into something)!

Smile.  Smiling is the easiest way to open the flood gate to laughter.  Consider it the precursor.  Smile at yourself, smile as you drive, smirk as you walk… whatever you are doing, do it with a smile!

Finally, once you’re on your date, tell embarrassing stories.  Remember, this is when the two of you are getting to know each other.  Dates are about fun, so show that side!  Show an outrageous video of you and your friends (my personal favorite is three of us trying to start a riding mower in a garage after a party and kayaking down a snowy hill).  This also allows them to see how you and your crowd interact.  If you are all having a great time, your potential partner will look forward to the day when they eventually will be able to share in the craziness with you.

By all means, find joy and laugh at the dating process itself.  If you’d like to hear more about this, click here to listen to last week’s podcast with comedian Michelle Tomko!

I’ve chuckled about good and bad dates.  I’ve giggled at my goofy moments that occurred in front of that special lady.  I’ve made a fool of myself plenty of times to know that those create memorable stories within a relationship.  So grab your spirit of choice, lighten up and laugh, people!  Above all,  join me next time for more Drinks with Jess.  
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    Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia.  She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.

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