This week I decided to talk about something very important… YOU! This is so essential that I call this week the “Triple Threat!” The reason valuing yourself, your opinions, and yes, your time, is that it shows you love and value yourself. It shows that you are decisive. It shows that you have strength, confidence, and integrity. Think about it, why would others value you unless you value yourself? So grab your refreshment of choice, and join me for a Drink with Jess.
Since I spent most of my holiday weekend relaxing, I spent a lot of time investigating my past relationships, behaviors, memories, and much more. Maybe it was the extreme amount of contact or “run-ins” with exes over the past week that provoked this, but either way, it served its purpose. This week I talked about valuing yourself as far as physically and mentally. It’s so important to do this for you, instead of basing your value on others’ opinions. And then, I realized I wanted to delve deeper, leading me to this week’s video on valuing your opinions! But what is the one thing that most of us forget to value? Our time!
Whether in a business situation or a relationship, it seems that the mental construct of time tends to be of least importance. However, since I am talking about why it’s important to value your time when dating or in relationships, let’s look at the common occurrences.
You are first dating someone, and for some crazy reason, you think that if you don’t spend all your time together, you’ll lose them. You miss out on friends and family, change your plans, or as if some black hole has swallowed you up, you disappear from the world only to think of your existence as this new relationship. We all have done this at one time or another and we must admit, how often did that lead to a lasting relationship?
Another thing that happens is that we jump at the chance to see the other person when they ask, but have yet to understand why they don’t jump at the chance to see us when we have a spur of the moment fun idea or even try to plan a date in advance. This only ends up leaving you with the feeling that you are now being used or have become a doormat.
Finally, whether dating or with a long term partner, when they consistently run late, and you allow it, you show that you don’t value your time and as a result, neither will they.
Valuing your time, among other things, shows that you value you. Now, let’s take each of the three and see what you can do and how this can aid in attraction. It’s doesn’t take a genius to see in the first example all you have to do is be confident that you won’t lose this person, if you still take time to hang out with others. First and foremost, if they did leave, then they weren’t the person for you. Secondly, it shows that you have a life and this is something that women find attractive. Last but not least, you won’t seem clingy, which will earn you extra points in the attraction category. So keep having your own life, don’t spend every minute together, and let someone miss you and wonder what you are up to!
The second example is one of my personal favorites because this was something that I used to do. When I constantly tried to make plans with someone and they kept flaking, I would jump at the chance to see them as soon as they asked. Thankfully, I realized that I enabled this situation to occur, which led me to change my behavior. But, this saying “how high?” as soon as they say “jump” reeks of desperation. So, how do you handle this situation, value your time, and let them know that you won’t just “run” to them as soon as they ask. Ask to have plans made in advance once in a while. Don’t be a doormat, women don’t like it! They like someone with a spine, so value your time and say “no” when you want and need to!
Finally… being late. This is my pet peeve, but simple to correct. It’s one thing if it doesn’t happen often and hopefully they let you know as early as possible that they are running late. However, when you notice that it becomes constant, say something about it. If they can’t value your time, you must. Again, having a backbone is an attractive quality, so speak up for yourself.
So there you have it, dear readers! Between all the segments this week, you are now worth more than all the money in the world. Value you, value your opinions and after reading this, you better value your time. In fact, take some time away from that girl or your partner next week and enjoy another Drink with Jess!
Jess is a dating coach, best selling author, and radio personality in Philadelphia. She provides the LGBTQ community with no-nonsense, straight forward advice to understanding your mind in order to navigate the complex dating scene and go after and get the people you desire.